30 Days of Gratitude..7..Collect Moments Not Things..

1moments

Today is about memories to be grateful for….and when I think about my most poignant memories…they are all about moments…not one of them about things…

To a certain extent this includes photos….there are very few photos of these moments, so, do they stay forever in my mind because I know there are no photos to remind me…or do they stay in my mind because I had no distraction at the time, trying to get the perfect picture of the moment….

Of course, photos are important…most especially to remember our loved ones….but it should be a combination, a healthy balance between living it and keeping it alive in our minds and on paper, or digitally.

af310fb458281089c6848323308225c2

Just try attending something….go for a whole day without taking one picture….see how it feels…it might be for you….it might not…but it’s worth a try…

I, like everyone, have good memories and bad memories, that’s what makes a life….the good ones keep us warm inside and the bad ones, they teach us lessons….

The biggest thing ever to happen to me?  Becoming a parent….after 10 years of trying and nothing happening we decided we were going to be childless, we bought a bigger house and got a bigger mortgage, decided we would have lots of holidays….then…I got pregnant…Yep, she was picking her moments even back then…

At around 34 weeks, just happily lying on the sofa like a whale, watching some Olympic gymnastics….trying to remember what it felt like to be able to jump around like that….Olympic Georgia gave another of her almighty kicks and ruptured my placenta…bless her….

What followed was a blur of being carted off in an ambulance…blue lights…end of July, start of the school summer holidays…lots of traffic….Brilliant NHS staff…two surgeons, probably both under 18…my mother turning up in blue scrubs…hubbie not so good with operations and blood stuff…being given a very numb and not so tidy Brazilian….shaking like I was freezing…a baby being thrust under my nose and then taken off to the special unit….and then finding myself alone in a ward surrounded by a curtain wondering just what the hell had just happened….

Then a fortnight in hospital…a surreal blood transfusion where I dreamt all night that I was reliving the lives of anyone whose blood was dripping into me…breast pumping milk out like it was a competition to see if I could get the fullest jar in the fridge…I could have fed the ward at the end of that fortnight…I was the breast milk champion…it was then fed into Georgia through a tube going up her nose…she pulled it out constantly…she went yellow, she went back to pink again, I was close to nervous breakdown, covered in crispy breast milk and wondering how everyone else managed to look as glamorous as they did…

I found myself just wanting to go home…then when the great day arrives…you take little one home in the car seat, place it in the middle of the lounge and think…what do I do with it now??  So, you see, I am not a natural mother….probably because I never thought I would be…but it is a most magnificent journey…a never ending learning curve…and you do constantly (with a few minor exceptions I shall ignore at this point) find yourself staring at your offspring, pretty proud, thinking “I made that happen, I got something right”.

This will always be a massive memory for me….I only did it once…how would I have coped doing it again?  I will never know…and we don’t need to ponder on the things that will never happen, we need to concentrate on the things we do have…

14462972_601207863395153_6871138391932018969_n

There she is, fourteen years old and full of attitude….but she does complete me…and constantly film me doing ridiculous stuff and shares it on her Snapchat story…and ask me to plait her hair half an hour after I have gone to bed…and hates my cooking…and watches the bloody Kardashians (sorry Kardashian family)..and appears to have a phone surgically implanted to her hand…but for all that indeed, love is unconditional and will always be there….

Savour your memories folks, they make your life what it is….

00ad6b0814b36f2aaeb01af90432d989

Happy Wednesday…..half way guys, half way….unless you work weekends, then it’s just…not halfway…

Geri xxx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s